I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
