you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize