You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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