i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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