I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
