so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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