i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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