The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
So vagazzling was a success
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
