Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
