I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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