I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
