I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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