Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
