Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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