Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
whose ass print is on the piano?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize