If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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