I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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