redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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