it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
