so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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