Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
