I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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