I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Randomize
