trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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