i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i barfeds in our rink
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
