You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
