I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
