He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize