I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize