we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
