Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
