how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize