I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
