My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
