They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
