omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
