yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize