So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
