its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
