I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
