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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.

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• (310): View more from California

  hey what are you doing

  (310): View more from California

  hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!

  (310): View more from California

  i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic

  Fav 59 881 5075

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• (925): View more from California

  I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs

  Fav 13 997 4385

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.

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• (509): View more from Washington

  if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates

  Fav 28 4942 1422

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.

  Fav 15 947 1546

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.

  Fav 8 859 642

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.

  Fav 3 1341 483

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?

  Fav 2 501 671

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.

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• (518): View more from New York

  You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.

  Fav 0 31 8

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• (562): View more from California

  I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was

  Fav 0 29 11

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