Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
