That's intense
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Randomize
