with your own penis?
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
