either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
