this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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