Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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