Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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