She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize