The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
