So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
