Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
a search helicopter?!
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
