i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
