So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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