dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
