just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
