i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
