my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
