Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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