we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
