i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
