did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
