In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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