Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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