yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
it's like iHOP with fire
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
