the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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