My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
