and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
