Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
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